My female students can be divided into:
A. WHAT I WAS LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL
Like A., a sweet, shy unassuming Korean girl who likes school and never attracts too much attention to herself. She is the sweetest thing ever. She gave me a decidedly Korean New Year's gift
**porcelain Hello Kitty figurines with no other purpose in the world that to exist very cutely
**delicate-looking chopsticks that look more like geisha-hair accessories than eating utensils.
But it was the note made me tear up --
"Dear Miss Martinez, Since last year, you have been the best teacher to me. I luv you. -A."
B. WHAT I WISH I WAS LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL
Like T. who is so unaffectedly beautiful, effortlessly smart, is so assured and self-possessed, that is very extraordinary, for someone who is only15.
Or M. who I shall call Little Miss Sunshine. Her positivity springs eternal, but not in an annoying way. I wonder how she does it.
The boys, well they're just INSANE.
Do you know the brothers in the Oceans 11 movies that never quit fighting? That's exactly how J. and J. are in my class.
It's annoying, distracting, but also morbidly fascinating and entertaining.
J1 is one of my hippest students.
He knows The Shins, for one thing. He likes Modest Mouse. He was the one who told me about the Aoki-Embassy-comeback. And he's already had a House of Holland-style shirt while I was still trying to come up with my own slogan (I Like Your Mess, May Martinez?)
J2 is one of my smartest students.
During the times that his 12-minute attention span allows it, J2 is able to come up with insightful one-liners, that show the breadth and width of his understanding of a literary work that he has just breezed through.
For some reason, the two of them bicker and spar about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. that happens.
An example.
J1: Ok let's play a game, none of us can use the letter "S" in anything he or she says from now on.
J2: Dude, we just played that last night.
J1: Today be different from lazz night, hut up.
J2: Hahah. Hut up? What the hell? You sound like Tom Robinson (from To Kill A Mockingbird). And you're a nigga just like him. Miss you know why black people make the best basketball players? (doesn't pause for an answer) Because they can shoot, steal and run better than anyone can!"
J1: J2 izz gay!!!
J2: You just used the letter S!
J1: No I uzed "ZZZ!!!"
J2: Why do you have to play these stupid games. Miss give him a greenslip he called me gay.
Most of the time, I'm going "SSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" or I'd be writing their names on the Green Slip board, where warnings for offenses are written.
But sometimes, it feels like a tennis match, and I'm looking from one boy to another, unable to look away and just fascinated at this constant, and inane bickering. And sometimes, I even get into the fray when they turn to me with questions like
"Miss, diba people like stupid comedy like SNL more than they like smart comedy like Frasier?"
"Well, Iwouldn't exactly call SNL stupid comedy, and often what comes off as stupid comedy is... Wait. Why am I answering you? We're talking about Debate here!"
It's exhausting trying to make them focus at the task and topic at hand. Sometimes I just wanna give up and just use the rest of the period talking about movies and music.
Then they'll say, "Oh Miss Martinez is a cool teacher. But she used to just chat us up all the time, so we never really learned anything."
I had teachers like that, especially in college. I don't want to be remembered like that.
B. WHAT I WISH I WAS LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL
Like T. who is so unaffectedly beautiful, effortlessly smart, is so assured and self-possessed, that is very extraordinary, for someone who is only15.
Or M. who I shall call Little Miss Sunshine. Her positivity springs eternal, but not in an annoying way. I wonder how she does it.
The boys, well they're just INSANE.
Do you know the brothers in the Oceans 11 movies that never quit fighting? That's exactly how J. and J. are in my class.
It's annoying, distracting, but also morbidly fascinating and entertaining.
J1 is one of my hippest students.
He knows The Shins, for one thing. He likes Modest Mouse. He was the one who told me about the Aoki-Embassy-comeback. And he's already had a House of Holland-style shirt while I was still trying to come up with my own slogan (I Like Your Mess, May Martinez?)
J2 is one of my smartest students.
During the times that his 12-minute attention span allows it, J2 is able to come up with insightful one-liners, that show the breadth and width of his understanding of a literary work that he has just breezed through.
For some reason, the two of them bicker and spar about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. that happens.
An example.
J1: Ok let's play a game, none of us can use the letter "S" in anything he or she says from now on.
J2: Dude, we just played that last night.
J1: Today be different from lazz night, hut up.
J2: Hahah. Hut up? What the hell? You sound like Tom Robinson (from To Kill A Mockingbird). And you're a nigga just like him. Miss you know why black people make the best basketball players? (doesn't pause for an answer) Because they can shoot, steal and run better than anyone can!"
J1: J2 izz gay!!!
J2: You just used the letter S!
J1: No I uzed "ZZZ!!!"
J2: Why do you have to play these stupid games. Miss give him a greenslip he called me gay.
Most of the time, I'm going "SSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" or I'd be writing their names on the Green Slip board, where warnings for offenses are written.
But sometimes, it feels like a tennis match, and I'm looking from one boy to another, unable to look away and just fascinated at this constant, and inane bickering. And sometimes, I even get into the fray when they turn to me with questions like
"Miss, diba people like stupid comedy like SNL more than they like smart comedy like Frasier?"
"Well, Iwouldn't exactly call SNL stupid comedy, and often what comes off as stupid comedy is... Wait. Why am I answering you? We're talking about Debate here!"
It's exhausting trying to make them focus at the task and topic at hand. Sometimes I just wanna give up and just use the rest of the period talking about movies and music.
Then they'll say, "Oh Miss Martinez is a cool teacher. But she used to just chat us up all the time, so we never really learned anything."
I had teachers like that, especially in college. I don't want to be remembered like that.
No comments:
Post a Comment